You really coming over, don't trick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
