im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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