I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
