Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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