this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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