I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
