But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
