True but thats because hes a fetus.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
