Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
