didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
