I'm gonna have a badass scar
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
