If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
