oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
