Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
