Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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