I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
