You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
