you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
