I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
