lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
