I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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