Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
