He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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