I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
