I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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