Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
