rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
