If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
