i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
