I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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