How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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