your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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