I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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