Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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