If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
