btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
