JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
