Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
