I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
