There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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