I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
