i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
