we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
And then he peed in my hair
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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