Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
