I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
