So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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