Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
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