Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
