Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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