Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
