Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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