Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
